I know how you feel big fella

If you have been to the Omaha zoo, you know that you will always see the big gorilla sitting in the outside area. Actually I have no idea if this is a gorilla, but for this post, that is what I am choosing it to be.  When I was growing up, the big gorilla's name was Casey. Pictures of this animal will always make me think of Bob M. In elementary school we took the once yearly field trip to the zoo. Every year they took you into Casey's indoor cage.  Every year we got to stand as many kids as we could onto Casey's chair, which also happened to be a scale. We were to see how many kids it took to weigh as much as Casey. No idea how that turned out each year, but we did it anyway. One time, I think maybe in 6th grade, we were standing inside the cage and listening to the story of maybe what the gorilla's ate. Bob M was in the corner standing with a bunch of his friends. Behind him was a smaller sized door with bars over it. I remember glancing over and seeing a black hand and long arm reaching out towards Bob's shoulder. I don't remember what happened after that, I know it did not grab him, but I imagine he moved rather quickly.  This is how I remember this random zoo story, Maybe it was not even Bob M who was grabbed for,

 but he is who I think of when I see these gorilla's.

It does not matter what year you see them at the zoo, a gorilla is always striking almost the same pose as the one in the above picture. A few weeks ago, my daughter went to the zoo and this was one of the pictures she took. This time I did not think of Bob M, but instead saw myself in this animal. 

No jokes, I have gained a little weight but that is not why I saw myself.

I remember, after my sons accident, feeling as if I was being watched by anyone walking by. I remember the fear of walking out the door and expecting to see the news media or judgmental people.

But,

 I also remember how important it was to me that we all hold our heads high

and be proud that we were a united family. I imagine that this big guy is also feeling stared at,

but it seems to me that he is determined to remain proud! 

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