Half Time

I greatly admire Dr. Curt Dodd, a paster in Omaha. I DVR his Sunday morning sermons and often refer back to them. I do not recall what sermon this quote came from, but found it important enough at the time to write it down. He said the following:

It's half time and you need to pick the team you want to be on. 

Will you pick the team that will always love and support you,
or the team that makes you believe they will always be there for you?

We all go through times where we find ourselves holding tight to the wrong team. They give us the false comfort that we think we are searching for.

But at some point in our lives we come to our own half time. If we are surrounded by a loving family and dear friends that share the same values as we have, the same ones that can love us through our ugly times,

the decision is easy.

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The Sky

Another song,

I recently copied the pictures on Amber's camera to my computer, as a way to not only have her camera backed up, but to also have copies

of our grandson's life to that point.

I saw some great pictures of a storm that they took one night

that started me thinking.

I realized that

as we have traveled through our "storm", we were not as alone as I thought.

There is a song by a Christian group The Afters that sing a song called Light Up The Sky.

The line that sticks with me is,

"You light up the sky to show me

you are with me"

 Sometimes the light ahead is beautiful.

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generations

When my daughter was little she always reminded me of my grandma Marie. Grandma was a happy person who was quick with a joke and loud with a laugh. As children, we always knew when grandma had a joke to tell because us youngsters were asked to leave the room. We knew we could return to the room when we heard the adults laugh. Grandma liked to tease, and she always had a gleam in her eye.  I saw this often in my daughter.

Now I see these same traits in my grandson. Even though he is not yet 2, he likes to be silly and make people laugh. You know he is going to tease and be ornery when he gets that little gleam in his eye. You have to be quick because he may do sometining unknowingly harmful.  He pretended to put a laundry pod in the washing machine, but then bit into it to tease his mother.  This ended up with a trip to the emergency room. I did not see this happen, but I know he definately had that little look in his eye.

It is amazing to me to see different traits passed on to the next generation. I can't wait to meet my grandaughter in August when she is born. I am sure she will be as amazing as her brother.

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Bent

Broken \bro-ken\ adj
reduced to fragments; fragmented
ruptured; torn; fractured

not functioning properly; out of working order

Bent \bend\ adj

                   changed by bending out of an

                     orig. straight or even condition

                    strongly inclinded:  determied

Words from another song I like:  We're not broken just bent

For a long time I felt that my family was broken. Nothing seemed right and it was hard to keep moving.  The first time I heard the song that has the above words in it, I smiled. I am guessing that means that we are healing, because I no longer use the word broken to describe us. Are we healed?

                            No, I guess we could be described as a little bent, but we sure are on the right track!

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My silly life

Every now and then a line of a song will stick in my mind for whatever reason. There is a song by the artist Pink! that makes me smile every time I hear it.

Made a wrong turn once or twice

fought my way out blood and fire

indecision, that's alright

welcome to my silly life.

I went to the correctional center to become a sponsor for my son. Sponsorship orientation can be done every 2nd and 4th Monday of the month and once this training is done you are able to take any incarcerated person on outings and furloughs.

On the night I went to orientation, they gathered all of us into a room and we sat at tables of 4. We first had to fill out the paperwork so they could do back ground checks on all of us who are hoping to help our loved ones through this next phase of their lives. I patiently helped a young girl to fill out her address in the assigned area, while trying to ignore the 2 young men who could not remember every time they were arrested in the last 5 years. They must have succeeded because at one point one of the guys showed the other his paper, and the 2nd guy said "Oh yea, I forgot that one". 

The instructor then gave us all the rules and expectations that we were to know. Taking my duties very seriously, I wrote so many notes I had to write on a 2nd piece of paper.  When done with the class we were to stand in line so our paperwork could be inspected for obvious errors.

Oh No!!!!  I have written notes on the back of my form which is used to do my back ground check! This has to be a major violation, but now all I can do is admit to the error. Once at the front of the line I explain to the guard what I have done and offer to rewrite my form. He smiled and told me they would be able to use the one I had presented them with. WHEW!

As I go further with my story I must explain one more thing. For years I have been praying to God that I will know why I am in this situation and what he expects me to do with this experience.

As I begin the hurried walk back out to my car, eager to get home, I very clearly hear in my head

"This is what you will be doing".

Whoa was that you God?? 
Actually my first thought was "Are you kidding me????"
As I had prayed, I was sure I would get some sort of really cool job from God, you know something that would put me in the same category as Mother Teresa or at least had me raising a staff above my head to guide many people.

In the car I listened to a dvd of the rosary, which I will usually pray on the drive home. Half way through the rosary, I begin to laugh hysterically.  I just helped a young girl whose english was not that great, sat with men who must have a lengthy arrest record, may have possibly heard God speak to me, and responded with what may have been a polite no thank you......

oh yea, welcome to my silly life!

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Family Incarcerated

Recently I was describing to a gentleman my typical day, where I go to pick up my son for work and how our family shares the responsibility of getting him back to the correctional center.

 His comment was "He is a very lucky boy".

Yes, he is. I know of many men who have no family visits and no support system.  We know that we are his link to the outside world, and are working to make it our goal to get through this difficulty as a family.

Over the years I have searched the web on various book sites for books that would give me insight and direction for my situation. One particular day I found a title that interested me and I was going to go back and read the description a few minutes later.  I believe the title was "Family Incarcerated".  And of course, I was never able to find that title again to read about the book....

so I made up in my mind what I felt the book was about.

In my minds eye I see the book to be about a family with a member who is incarcerated. The family would pull together. They would, in some sort of way, find themselves also incarcerated due to the fact that they are now tied to collect phone calls, body searches and drug sniffing dogs to see the loved one. I see the struggles they face in coming to terms with the incarceration. In this book you would read how they learned to navigate through the system, and just as they got comfortable in knowing what had to be done, things would change. Slowly they would discover their way and the path would get easier.

I believe the book would describe how the hopes and dreams of their future would be changed to different hopes and dreams. The new path their lives would take would prove to not necessarily be a wrong path, just a different path.

I think there would be humor right beside the tears, and that in the end the family would come out to be better people than they were before the hardship.

The end.

Or maybe the book was about an entire family of wrong doers who all got busted. 

Hmm, I like my version better.

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Turn your head!

Last week I laughed at an early morning discussion made by my coworkers. One of the young girls, who is known to drive very fast everywhere she goes, came to work late as usual. She had a good excuse. She was leaving her neighborhood and the woman in front of her kept break checking her so she had to slow down.  "There are school signs in that area, but I have never seen a single school!" 

Another coworker replies,

"You have to turn your head to see them".

We all had a good chuckle and soon the conversation was forgotten.

In my mission to get all the places I have to be and in the time frame I have, I force myself to be very foused. I look straight ahead as I drive down the highway and get to point A, return down the highway to point B, and then carry on to point C.  The daily drive has become normal routine for me. As I make my way east to point A every morning, I am able to watch the sunrise.

It is a great way to start the day.

One morning as I turned directions to my 1st stop, I was treated to the most beautiful colors in the sky.

At that point I realized, the beauty is there everyday,

I just have to turn my head to see it.

Lesson learned.

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favorite quotes

I have heard and read many things that have stuck to me through the last years. Although I will probably add more, here is the start of my list:

Life gets messy. 

Fr Mike Grewe

Anger is drinking a cup of poison and expecting the person you are mad at to be affected.

Theresa learned this in a class and repeated it to me

Yes, doors have been closed, but there are many more to be opened.

Pat, one night he and I sat by the fire pit

Rule Number 1 - Follow all rules.

Rule Number 2 - Expect all rules to be enforced.

Hand book from the Lincoln Correctional Center

Make your mess your message

Robin Roberts

Left foot, right foot...breath

Robin Roberts

Borrow hope from others,

The one that holds our future walks with us

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Hurry!

There is an old song that says:

"I'm in a hurry to get things done,

I rush and rush until life's no fun"

I have been feeling like this these last few weeks.  Sometimes life just gets so busy we forget to stop and enjoy it. 

We can take my son out on small trips home or shopping for food and supplies. This summer we are even planning a trip to the zoo, but these trips come with very strict return times. He also gets out on the weekdays to go to work. This requires some very creative rides to and from work. In the mornings we were able to find a bus route that got him fairly close to work. I get up and drive to the destination and take him to work. At night, there is not a bus that will work with his van drop off, so we take turns driving him back. Yes, this is a lot of driving, but worth it.

One especially stressful trip was our first time to Walmart. After taking the bags to the car, we realized we had to really rush in order to get back at the mandatory return time. I drove as fast as possible, all the way praying that we would get there safely and on time. Just as the stress inside that car got thick enough to cut with a knife, my son says "This has been really fun".

Now when I am overwhelmed with all the directions I need to rush in, I am reminded to slow down and
to have fun.

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New Start..again

Wow, it has been awhile since my last post. Actually, I had made the decision to stop blogging my thoughts, and I even wrote a couple of drafts to end things. Now I am realizing that the drafts were not working out because it was not time to end them. So many things have changed and so many things left to tell. We now deal with work release, and are going to be grandparents again!
I guess I will need to get busy. I decided to start with a fresh coat of paint on my page, it turned out looking a little more polished...in my mind.  So Now I can start this new year...............

Lets start with the 2013 word of the year.

                                                                        Trust  

I am working to trust that what ever is to come this year, it is part of God's plan, and he will get us through it.  Hopefully Erik will get released on parole this coming November. Our family will hopefully all be together this year.

Yes, I am trusting this is going to be a good year for us!

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