Assignment 2012

Earlier this year, we were all discussing each of our words of the year. My 2012 word is Believe. Theresa had chosen the word Hope and Susie's word is Peace. Before our trip I gave the girls an assignment. We each had to choose someplace along the way that would describe our word. I would then take a picture of that scene. Next year we can look at that same picture and see how far we have come in our journey's.

I love this bridge! I knew I wanted a picture of it, but was not sure how I would make it fit to my word.

Well, obviously at some point in time, someone "Believed" that it was possible to build a train bridge from point A to point B.

There..simple.  No, that would be a very generic description of how my word could work with this scene.

Upon closer inspection I realized that this bridge resembles my life and how if

I continue to Believe,

I will someday be able to say that I crossed over from a difficult time in my life to what I can only assume will be a brighter time. 
(I am smiling to myself right now).

Theresa chose her picture as we were preparing to leave. Everywhere you look there are beautiful windmills across the land. The windmill has the important job of drawing water from the ground to bring

 drink to the cattle.

In the bible, David compared his troubles to "deep waters".

 My hope is that next year my friend will see the windmill and her troubles will not seem as deep.

In Theresa's words, the windmill resembles the Spring of Hope.

And at last, Susie's word of the year is Peace. This was a picture that was taken of beautiful sunrays shining through the clouds. Susie actually pulled off the road so this picture could be taken.

To my surprise, this picture became one of not only awesome sunrays, but also one of a road that would lead us to a comfortable weekend. We had no cell service so we were allowed to concentrate on

friendship and relaxation. 

When Susie saw her picture, she appropriately named it

The Road To Peace.

We did well with our assignments

Western Nebraska 2012

The girls and I had our annual trip to Western Nebraska again. As usual, a great time was had by all. This year Susie's son Wyatt went with us. He was able to rekindle his friendship with Angie's son Slim.

We were entertained by Wyatt all most all the way to Cody Nebraska. Both of the boys proved to be very knowledgeable with the things they were passionate about. Even with a late start, we found ourselves able to stop for a nice Mexican lunch and shop in a great western wear store we found last year.

And yes, we were able to have our annual beer at George's Corner Bar, the part time strip club from last year. Turns out the waitress remembered us, of course what is not to remember! We ended up with several people, the waitress included, at our table and enjoyed hearing all the stories they had to tell. We met 2 firefighters from Omaha who were there helping with fires that were eating up the country side. We did not see any fires but saw smoke off in the distance.  Oh, and we met George. He is an older man who continues to work just for the love of it.

Once we finally made it to the ranch, we sat at Angie's table and talked until 2:00 in the morning. It was great to spend time with old friends and reconnect.

Walk On

As you well know, I am not a "techy" person. I have a new song added to my blog and it is the thought behind this post. I could not figure out how to attach the new song to specifically this post, SO....if you wish, go to my side bar and pick the song by Jordin Sparks titled "This Is Me Now".  I do not believe it is the original title to the song. I think it is was called 'Walk On" or maybe "You'll Never Walk Alone", from what I can tell, it depended on who say it at the time. I found it was sung by many including Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley.

This was a song that my dad used to sing to me when I was very young. As he sang he would rock me in the old brown tweedish rocking chair. (In my minds eye I can perfectly see that chair, but for all I know it may have actually been red with blue dots).  I have always loved the song, but I recently heard it and had the chance to listen to all the words.
 I now realize that whether he meant to or not, this song represented lessons I had learned from him.

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky....

 I believe I am a stronger person because of the lessons my parents taught me.

Net

Possibilities

I started this blog as a means to heal from what seemed to be unbearable pain. "More complicated that I thought" was first a phrase I used when I tried to figure out how to blog. Very quickly I realized that it was a statement that described my life. "Finding me again" was the name I came up with when feeling terribly lost.
Time has gone by and where am I now?

Years ago a co-worker told me that he could not have gotten through the difficult periods in his life if it had not been for his church family. To tell the truth, at the time I did not understand the concept of a church family. I based this on the fact that I felt my church was full of judgemental parishioners who were all too busy with their own lives to care about anyone else.

During this crazy journey that I have been on, things have slowly changed.  Just recently 2 of those changes snuck up and hit me along the side of my head, maybe it was just some angel trying to see if I was paying attention.
I am taking a bible class with 7 close friends. One evening while making my way back to my table, a gentleman looked at my name tag, said hello and called me by name. It felt kind of nice to smile at him and engage in a short conversation. Shortly after I found myself looking at other's name tags and realizing that a lot of these people I have known by name only for many years. It is nice to see so many fellow bible studiers along the street and realize that we do have common interests to talk about. 

I have gotten to know a lady that works in our small town post office. She is aware of my families situation and is kind enough to occasionally ask about my son. At least once a month I mail letters and various information to him. This requires a stop at the post office to have my envelope weighed and posted. Recently Erik was moved from the correctional center in Lincoln to the one in Omaha, Shortly after the move I went to the post office with my monthly package. The lady at the post office looked at my letter and in a very excited voice cheers "He's been moved!!" The fact that she even realized he was in a new city made me smile. Some may still frown at me but maybe some other than my small group of those close to me are encouraging.

Suddenly I realize that not only do I feel a closer sense of my small town community, I have a church family.

I am sure there are still the judgemental parishioners and small town snobs, but something feels different.

Did this happen just recently or am I just more open to seeing things differently?

How Big

This is my new way of thinking.

No longer do I just think about my families storm,

I concentrate on all the progress we have made over the years.

I am very proud of how we have all weathered the storm and

aware of who helped us to get this far!

Net

Good as Balanced!

"Good as Balanced"

A statement I often say, heard thousands of times by my coworkers.

If I have to use a teller drawer, I have to be sure the money balances at the end of the day.

When the drawer is out of balance during the middle of the day, you can guarantee that I will announce that I am "good as balanced."  

So what does that really mean? It means that things are not working out at the moment, I need to step away to do some other task, while I regroup and devise a new plan to accomplish the best end result. I know that eventually my teller drawer will be in balance, it sometimes just takes a few tries.

My very dear friend Darlene recently sent me a message saying she was good as balanced. After all these years of repeating my coin phrase, I first smiled and then I saw it in a new light.

Sometimes in life things just don't work out quite right. So what needs to be done?

 A) Step away

B)  Regroup

             C) Devise a new plan

The last several years, without realizing it, this is exactly what I have been doing. In my search of getting our lives back on track, I have had to use the trial and error method. Some things work, but many things do not.

But now I know that I need to keep trying,

because for now my life is....

Good as Balanced!

Welcome 2012!

STRENGTH  

           ACCEPTANCE             

HOPE

   Welcome 2012! 

It is a new year and time for a new word.

Last year my word of the year, Hope, chose me.

This year at Christmas time, I was at the store Parables searching  for 3 coins with words of encouragement to give special people. When I found them and turned to pay for my purchase, an amber colored glass stone with the word Believe caught my attention. After thinking of the word for a few moments, I realized that seeing this stone was a sign that

 the word was choosing me.

I decided it was a good word for me to work on this year.  Never mind that I was disappointed when I dropped my package on the cement outside and the glass stone was now chipped and cracked.

The word picked me and now I have to live with it.

Later, my second disappointment came when

I realized that the Weight Watchers business had also chosen the word "Believe" in their ad campain.

The fact that I need to loose weight has not escaped my attention, but is that the only reason this word has chosen me?

I probably need to ponder on that thought some.

Now, how do I work on the word Believe this year, knowing that my word

is shared by the world of over weight people

(again..the humor in that phrase has not escaped me)

and that includes a chipped and cracked glass stone.

I have decided that if the word chose me, the word will teach me what I need to know this year.

For now,  I will believe that God is answering my prayers

even if it is not how I think they should be answered.

And I am going to work at believeing in myself and that I will have the ability to get through this new year...

even if, like my stone, I am a little bit cracked and chipped!

Net

P.S. The more I hear the Weight Watchers mnessage, the more I like it!