Hair

My daughter is a hair stylist. She needs more continuing education credits, so tomorrow I get a perm.  I have always been her best guinea pig. Since she began her schooling and has made a career for herself, I have been the recipient of numerous beauty techniques. 

My hair has been brushed, combed, backcombed, cut, trimmed, texturized, colored, highlighted, low lighted, permed, curled, and straightened. My eyebrows have been  tweezed, plucked, waxed and colored. The inside of my nose, my lip, my entire face, my arm pits and my toes have all been waxed. I have been treated to facials, pedicures, manicures and eyelash extensions and I have used products too numerous to mention. 

I do draw the line with the waxing of the inside of my nose again and I find the arm pit waxing a waste of time. Had I not been lying down with a hot towel on my face when receiving a facial, I guarantee my toes would never have been waxed.

She is a sneaky one, and yet I keep going back for more.

Net

I don't know the answer

I have been kind of sad lately. Maybe it is the time of the year or my son's birthday coming up. I'm not sure. Lately I have been bothered by the fact that there have been 2 more accidents that have happened involving young people and alcohol. I just have trouble wrapping my hands around the situation, and I don't know what the answer is. One of the families were on the news. I have trouble getting past the fact that the family was paraded before the news media. We did not have a lawyer that used the media to lime light his case and I am not sure I would have trusted him if he had. My brother-in-law told me that when he saw the young man's mother, he saw my face. I had to admit to him that I did too. I have a card with a note ready to send to this mother. I just want her to know that there are people out here that have been where she is.

Maybe my card will help, or maybe it will only make me feel better for having sent it.

 I just don't know the answer.

The First Friday Sisters

“Who would have thought that when we met at the swimming pool that day, we would still be friends after all these years?”

This comment was made by Christie at breakfast the morning after our 2010 First Friday in February annual gathering. I may not have all the words correctly quoted but the meaning is the same. We grew up together, literally. After high school we made it a point to get together at Christmas time. We were a small group from the class of 1979, 1980 and 1981. The effort it took trying to get all of us in one place on one day became too difficult. It was at this time that someone, I think it may have been Angie, made the suggestion that we pick the same day every year to meet. Everyone would know when we would get together and would be able to plan for that date. The date was chosen, and this is how the First Friday in February began. Every year we all know which day we are taking off from work. We will have a Friday lunch and usually spend the night somewhere. Our laughter, debates and sometimes tears will go on through the night.

We are a close group, but not perfect. We can be loud, obnoxious, and judgmental. We can pick sides and let our opinions be known.  We have seen each other through the awkward years and the dating years. We have gone to each others weddings and watched our babies grow up. There have been divorces,
prayer lines, funerals, and meals delivered when we fell ill. We have become in-laws and grandmas.  And yet we all know that if one of us is hurt or going through a difficult time, our group will be there for us without hesitation. We consider each other to be sisters.

Sometimes other friends will make a comment of disbelief that we are still connected to our childhood friendships. I can't explain the bond but it is pretty awesome to be part of this group.
When my tough time started I did not initially call anyone from the group, but later was not surprised to get visits, emails, and phone calls. It was comforting to know they were there for me. The 1st First Friday that we got together after my storm, I was loud...imagine that. We had had cocktails (again, imagine that) and it was the first time in months that I had laughed. I poked fun at myself and my situation in a way I would not have with anyone else. It felt so good to laugh instead of cry. My friends just let me get it all out of my system. Oh  they may have raised a few eyebrows and wondered if I had finally gone off of the deep edge, but that is what we do and it works for us.

As I said before, I am not sure where I am going with my posts about the First Friday Sisters but they are a part of what defines who I am. I may need to call on them to decide on the direction of these posts, because I know there are great stories to be told. For now, I will let this post be the introduction to my group.

Net

Still working on acceptence....kinda

I thought I was working hard on my word for the year...acceptance.  Yesterday proved that I may have a ways to go.  There is a full moon out and I truly believe that it brings the wackos out.

Yesterday at work a woman came to me for assistance. I was ok with helping her, but I knew I would need to pass her on to someone else to complete her request. I patiently listened to her, I got out a form and began to help her fill it out.  THEN, that women, who came to me for help, answers her cell phone. I accepted that she may have needed to answer this important call, so I waited. I waited a little more, not trying to appear like I was listening to her phone call, a call that I felt was dumb. 8 minutes later I accepted that I was going to have to choke her if she did not get off that call. In the words of my sister "a jury of my peers would understand". She came to me but she was wasting my time. I accepted that I was going to interrupt her and tell her to let me know when she needed my help again, and I accepted that it was probably something that would get me in trouble...but she was really irritating me. Fortunately for her, she got off the phone before I had to do something that would have the boss all over me. 

I guess I accept that I may need to spend more time on my word for the year.

Net

Balancing Act

Both of my kids are great photographers.  Sometimes when I can't think of what to write, I like to randomly upload a picture and see what kind of story pops in my head.           

The fact that my son even noticed a small snail on the ground does not surprise me. He has always been laid back and down right slow.  While taking family walks we would always have to stop to let that kid catch up. We would  turn around to find him crouched to the ground looking at bugs or ant hills or even grass blowing in the wind. His one year of playing t-ball found him in the out field, glove on top of his head and spinning while looking at all of the bugs in the air.  Sometimes I wish life were still at that slow pace.

My daughter is quite the opposite. She is always in a hurry. She even talks and drives fast. She was a dancer for 16 years. At the grocery store this kid was 5 feet ahead of me tap dancing down the isle. I figured that as long as I could hear her little feet moving, she was ok.

So there I am, one child moving at lightning speed, the other slowly observing everything around him and me in the middle just trying to balance everything out.

Net

Insight

Another part of my life that has defined who I am, are the friends who have laughed with me, cried with me and have even helped me up when I had fallen. I really never thought about the number of friends I have until they came forward to help me.  I am lucky to have the friends that are co-workers, both present and from the past. I don't mind saying that even I know how difficult it is to work with someone who was not only going through a personal problem as large as the one I am going through, but also dealing with that person as they faced the menopausal phase of her life. Oh yes, I let plenty of them know exactly what I thought, while at the same time knowing that what I thought had no rhyme or reason to it. No matter, these were the same  people that somehow knew when I needed no words but instead a simple hug. They were the ones who worried when I was away from my desk for too long and were not sure how to help.

I have my own little personal cheerleader who probably has no idea that even when I see her smiling in a picture on face book I can instantly be cheered.(hi Linda!).

My biggest friend support group are my First Friday girls. The stories are too many for one little post, I think they are an entire new blog. These are the girls I have known most of all of my life. The girls from elementary school who have remained friends through our adult lives. The First Friday girls all get together every First Friday of February, and even if a year has gone by, we comfortably pick up where we left off.  As I said earlier, we are worthy of an entire blog of our own. For now, I would like to mention a comment from Connie. It has stayed in my mind for 2 years, but this last weekend it took on a whole new meaning...perhaps an ah ha moment.

Before going any further, I will mention that the length of my sons sentence shocked us all.  I will never forget what happened to give him that sentence, but I was shocked none the less.

When hearing the sentence my son received, Connie had an explanation. She either dreamed or just knew that in the future my son was destined for a life in the ministries. She told us that a shorter sentence would not give him the time he needed to learn and prepare for what is to come.  Ok, I get that.

I was telling my sister and daughter about the college program that my son is getting into. I am so proud of him, he is definitely smart enough for the challenges of college. We then began discussing the fact that if he had received the sentence that we had feared, he would be working towards parole right now instead of college. Right now, let me hear a collective "ah ha"   Chances of getting parole your first time around does not always go the way you hope, but a shorter sentence would have meant that college courses would not have had to be thought about.

So where does this realization get me?  I still hate the situation I am in, but I find myself pondering her insightful explanation. I now understand that explanation a little differently than I first had. I did not think I would see my sons sentence in the way my friend had explained, but stranger things have happened.

Ok. I can hear Connie's sister Chris now.....

"Lets grab some brie cheese and ponder all insightful explanations.." 

Sometimes when I read what I have typed I just have to laugh!

Net

Visiting Day

Visitation at the Lincoln correctional center is intimidating the first time you go.  The unknown is very scary. The personnel at the correctional center in Nebraska have never shown me anything but respect. Any time I have had questions they are answered with compassion and there are even a couple of the guards at the visitation center that we have gotten to know well.

My niece, who was 10 at the time, is very close to my son and we had to evaluate the visitation process to see if it was appropriate for her to go to. After some thought, her parents decided that she would do fine on a visit and off to Lincoln we went. 

We tried to explain things in a way that a 10 year old would understand, that there is a high fence around the center, a guard would look at the bottom of her feet, she can hug her cousin but not sit on his lap. I am sure we overwhelmed her with information and rules, but we were a little nervous.

As we were driving into the facility, that little girl did not see the big fences or the guards stations. Through the fence we could see some of the inmates playing basket ball and her face lit up as she points and shouts

"They get recess!!!!"

Out of the mouths of babes.


Net

Meet and Greet

I want to tell you about my family.

I mentioned before that I want someone to visit my son every week. My daughter has been our visitation coordinator. If someone wants to visit that week, they call her to schedule the time. Actually her job is basically answering text messages from friends and family wanting to visit.  I just gave her that title here this very moment, and it made me giggle a little because she would have been on her phone anyway. 

My daughter is a funny girl. I always thought she got her humor from my grandma Marie, my dads mother.  She is also a little spit fire that will not hesitate to put someone in their place, especially if she feels there is an injustice taking place. She may have gotten this from my mother, however, there are several of us "spitfires" on both sides of our family.  This could be be seen with her as an 8 year old feeling that a waitress has "jipped" her on the amount of soup she received or as her adult self standing up for someone who she sees is getting the short end of the stick. Most of the time this can be viewed very admirably, but I won't lie to you, sometimes she is just...oh never mind that would just be rude to say.  Anyway, we are very close, but there have been times where she will tell me that I am no longer her best friend and she gives the honor to my sister. I know eventually my sister will do something and I will be in first position again.  Funny girl.

My son is also funny person. I have seen him grow in the last few years in ways that amaze me.  He is quiet and shy like his dad. He is also a very intelligent person. I found this out when he was 4 and I was reading a book to him. He corrected me when I hurriedly tried to finish the book. We sat in amazement as we pointed to different words in different books just to make sure his reading wasn't a fluke. At that point I figured he could just read his own bedtime story. At five he read "The Far Side" cartoon books and laughed appropriately. While growing up we referred to him as our "knower of useless information." If he told me odd things like the name of the skin covering your elbow, I knew he read it somewhere. If he had to put away the dishes, I knew he would rearrange my kitchen cabinets, this could have been because he thought it was funny or maybe his rebellious nature. Don't know, I just learned to live with it.

So yes, I have funny children. I have been married for 26 years, maybe because my husband is quiet and I am sort of loud, well maybe just a little. Over the years we have had too many dogs to count.
I have wonderful parents and in-laws who have supported us through all the years whether it was just to share a glass of wine with us or to help us find our footing on a bumpy path.  OK, that made me laugh because I am feeling like this is turning into a sappy little post.  I actually just wanted to explore who I am by looking at those that mean the most to me. Without all the support I would have probably fell apart over these last couple of years.

I went to a bible study with my sister-in-law.  The first night the instructor went around the room and asked what we felt God had anointed us for. I told them I did not honestly know but was sure that I would not have gone through everything I have these last 2 years for it not to be something great. Maybe I am to help people in my situation?  Leave it to me to make this all about me!!!

Anyway, this is my family,